If Tim Burton were to Remake Mary Poppins...this is how it should be casted...
Mary Poppins = Anne Hathaway
Burt = Robert Downey Jr
Uncle Albert = Zach Galifianakis
Mr. Banks = Johnny Depp
Mrs. Banks = Amy Adams
The Bird Woman = Helena Bonham Carter
Katie Nana = Kathy Bates
Mr. Dawes Sr. = Dick Van Dyke
Constable Jones = Jude Law
Admiral Boom = Sacha Baron Cohen
The rest of the chimney sweeps = Jabawockeez
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Inspired & Bored
My Friends 4.0 : As Famous Movie & Television Characters...
Jay
John Moxon
Jack McFarland
Madea
Ryan Reynolds in "Just Friends"
Silent Bob
Danny Vinyard From American History X + Frank The Tank = ???
Carlton
Bill & Ted (Just Add A Gold Chain)
a) Derek "Scorpion" Gallina, b) Ted "So Corn" Dooley, c) Greg "DJ Dirty John Drama" Wichard, d) Aaron "Jarp Larplin" Joplin, e) Andrew "Patton" Fell, f) Sean "The Other" Dooley, g) Kyle "Chia Dig Feel Deuces K.Mauro #1" Mauro, h) David "Fuck He's Back..." Casares, and i) Nick "Tito" Olliviedes
Jay
John Moxon
Jack McFarland
Madea
Ryan Reynolds in "Just Friends"
Silent Bob
Danny Vinyard From American History X + Frank The Tank = ???
Carlton
Bill & Ted (Just Add A Gold Chain)
a) Derek "Scorpion" Gallina, b) Ted "So Corn" Dooley, c) Greg "DJ Dirty John Drama" Wichard, d) Aaron "Jarp Larplin" Joplin, e) Andrew "Patton" Fell, f) Sean "The Other" Dooley, g) Kyle "Chia Dig Feel Deuces K.Mauro #1" Mauro, h) David "Fuck He's Back..." Casares, and i) Nick "Tito" Olliviedes
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
My Friends 3.0
Since Drama and William "Geraldine FerraBro" Smith did it, and I love jumping on band wagons...My Friends : Through Viral Videos, Movie Clips, and Songs
Answer Box:
a) Greg
b) Mauro
c) Will
d) Carl
f) Noel
g) Dave
h) Derek
i) Fell
j) Tito
k) Manoj
l) Nate
m) Lance
n) Mueller
Answer Box:
a) Greg
b) Mauro
c) Will
d) Carl
f) Noel
g) Dave
h) Derek
i) Fell
j) Tito
k) Manoj
l) Nate
m) Lance
n) Mueller
Monday, May 18, 2009
New Rules
1. Panning Racism - It is no longer OK for camera men and producers of comedy shows on television to immediately pan to a black guy after a fried chicken joke, pan to an Asian or a Woman after a joke about a car accident, or pan to a big tittied blonde after a joke about strippers...UNLESS the black guy is ACTUALLY eating KFC, the Asian or woman is in a neck brace, or the big tittied blonde is only wearing a G-String next to a pole...
2. Facebook Depression - It is no longer OK for Facebook to keep changing it's layout and adding new features that only showcase the new activities of old girlfriends and hook-ups. I swear as soon as I'm done talking to someone or just got out of a relationship with a girl, Facebook feels the need to show me their consistent up dates on the home page as soon as I sign in. Seeing how happy and how much fun a X-Girlfriend is having after breaking up with you as you sit on the computer, downloading disgusting porn and discovering the joys of Perkisets should not be labeled by Facebook as "Highlights." I no longer need to keep a list of my sexual partners, now all I need to do is sign on to Facebook and I can instantly get an update on all of them on the home page. Great for when your feeling to good about yourself.
3. Vamp-Curious - It is no longer OK for society to be obsessed with Vampires in any way. In the 90's, everyone wanted Vampires dead, and we celebrated this with shows like "Buffy" and movies like "Blade," but 10 years later, all everybody wants to do is have sex with them, which is showcased in shows like "True Blood," and movies like "Twilight," and "New Moon." That's not called a fetish, its called Necrophilia. First you need to be tan and having a pulse to be considered sexy, and now being pale, old, and cryptic is in? Brings a whole new meaning to "Drop Dead Gorgeous."
4. Angels & Demons & Sperm - It is no longer OK to pretend to be religious, flaunt how amazing and pure you are, judging other who don't attend services every Sunday, but then go around having unprotected sex and practicing the "Pull & Pray." If your Religion is so fulfilling, then may I recommend the "Stay & Pray," then we'll see how much stock you put into your savior now...
2. Facebook Depression - It is no longer OK for Facebook to keep changing it's layout and adding new features that only showcase the new activities of old girlfriends and hook-ups. I swear as soon as I'm done talking to someone or just got out of a relationship with a girl, Facebook feels the need to show me their consistent up dates on the home page as soon as I sign in. Seeing how happy and how much fun a X-Girlfriend is having after breaking up with you as you sit on the computer, downloading disgusting porn and discovering the joys of Perkisets should not be labeled by Facebook as "Highlights." I no longer need to keep a list of my sexual partners, now all I need to do is sign on to Facebook and I can instantly get an update on all of them on the home page. Great for when your feeling to good about yourself.
3. Vamp-Curious - It is no longer OK for society to be obsessed with Vampires in any way. In the 90's, everyone wanted Vampires dead, and we celebrated this with shows like "Buffy" and movies like "Blade," but 10 years later, all everybody wants to do is have sex with them, which is showcased in shows like "True Blood," and movies like "Twilight," and "New Moon." That's not called a fetish, its called Necrophilia. First you need to be tan and having a pulse to be considered sexy, and now being pale, old, and cryptic is in? Brings a whole new meaning to "Drop Dead Gorgeous."
4. Angels & Demons & Sperm - It is no longer OK to pretend to be religious, flaunt how amazing and pure you are, judging other who don't attend services every Sunday, but then go around having unprotected sex and practicing the "Pull & Pray." If your Religion is so fulfilling, then may I recommend the "Stay & Pray," then we'll see how much stock you put into your savior now...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
He's Just Not That Into You...But I Still Want To Be In You...
Last night, 3 of my male friends and I went and saw this movie. Granted it can be classified as a "chick flick," but there was something intriguing about it. Now I've never read the book, but it turns out it was written by that guy who I consistently confuse with Ty Pennington. I went in to this movie with high expectations for 2 reasons...
1. I'm a sucker for a decent trailer with attractive women (i.e. the reason why I saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2)...
&
2. I was hoping this movie would sway women away from the belief that if a guy is mean to you, that just means he likes you...(I always thought Dyslexia was a learning disability, not a common charateristic of women)
That's a tall order for a 2 hour movie, and even tho it came close, in the end it failed. Instead of taking the route to help women's dating desicions, the producers of this movie decided to bank, which they will, trust me. This movie is going to get theater seats wetter than the seats at Snake River Falls at Cedar Point, true story. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but the experience was even more entertaining. Im not a fan of people commenting during a film (reason I waited till all the Friday movies came out on DVD), but in this case, it made the film more enjoyable.
The theater was packed with women of all ages, and since my friends and I made up about 2% of the audience, the odds of us appearing sensitive and possibly meeting a few young hunnies were quite good. My decision to wear and pink shirt while texting on my new Blackberry Storm w/ a hard pink case may have put me at a bit of a disadvantage. But one thing I noticed was not only was the movie displaying many of the differences between men and women, but the audience there also showcased many examples of how different men and women really are. And I should clairify that some of the following can be considered *Spoiler Alerts*
Example #1
When Bradley Cooper aka "Zach-Master's" character cheats on his wife with Scarlett Johansson...
Women's Response: "Asshole"
Men's response: "Awesome"
Example #2
When Bradely Cooper's character is hooking up with Scarlett Johansson in his office, and hides her in his closet shorty after his wife, Jennifer Connelly, interupts...
Women's Response : "Oh my God!" (Said with a tone that they were hoping he was going to get caught)
Men's Repsonse: "Oh my God!" (Said with a tone suggesting the hopes that Zach-Master might be able to pull off a 3-way)
Example #3
When Ginnifer Goodwin's character describes to Justin Long's character that her craziness is only a sign that she closer than him to actually finding the special someone...
Women's Response: "You go girl!"
Men's Response: "This girl needs to go!"
Example #4
When Ben Afflect's character, after and hour and 45 minutes of putting up an amazing argeument against marriage, and in the last few minutes eventually caves...
Women's Response: "He's so sweet!"
Men's Response: "He's a fucking idiot!"
Example #5
Not in the movie, but still a great commercial that shows how different men and women are.
The only real problem I had a with this movie was when Ginnifer Goodwin's character was describing to her female co-workers all the "signs" she noticed that lead her to the conclusion that Justin Long's character was "in to her." (Even tho 2 scenes eariler he just got done telling her there are no signs, and if a guy REALLY liked her, he'd make it happen).
I don't agree that there aren't signs. For all you women out there, here is a quick crash coarse to help you see these "signs" more clearly.
Sign #1
If a guy is buying you drinks, and trying to get you really drunk...he's in to you.
Sign #2
If a guy is stairing more at your breast than your face...he's in to you.
Sign #3
If a guy is consistantly making suggestions that he wants you to come back to his place...he's in to you.
That's it! Now granted, if you get all these signs from a guy, it does not mean he wants to marry you. The only reason a guy actually WANTS to get married, is if he realizes that that woman he is with is the hottest he's ever going to get. Other than that, I agree with Ben Afflect's character (before he was castrated) that marriage isn't for everybody, it's only for women.
1. I'm a sucker for a decent trailer with attractive women (i.e. the reason why I saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2)...
&
2. I was hoping this movie would sway women away from the belief that if a guy is mean to you, that just means he likes you...(I always thought Dyslexia was a learning disability, not a common charateristic of women)
That's a tall order for a 2 hour movie, and even tho it came close, in the end it failed. Instead of taking the route to help women's dating desicions, the producers of this movie decided to bank, which they will, trust me. This movie is going to get theater seats wetter than the seats at Snake River Falls at Cedar Point, true story. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie, but the experience was even more entertaining. Im not a fan of people commenting during a film (reason I waited till all the Friday movies came out on DVD), but in this case, it made the film more enjoyable.
The theater was packed with women of all ages, and since my friends and I made up about 2% of the audience, the odds of us appearing sensitive and possibly meeting a few young hunnies were quite good. My decision to wear and pink shirt while texting on my new Blackberry Storm w/ a hard pink case may have put me at a bit of a disadvantage. But one thing I noticed was not only was the movie displaying many of the differences between men and women, but the audience there also showcased many examples of how different men and women really are. And I should clairify that some of the following can be considered *Spoiler Alerts*
Example #1
When Bradley Cooper aka "Zach-Master's" character cheats on his wife with Scarlett Johansson...
Women's Response: "Asshole"
Men's response: "Awesome"
Example #2
When Bradely Cooper's character is hooking up with Scarlett Johansson in his office, and hides her in his closet shorty after his wife, Jennifer Connelly, interupts...
Women's Response : "Oh my God!" (Said with a tone that they were hoping he was going to get caught)
Men's Repsonse: "Oh my God!" (Said with a tone suggesting the hopes that Zach-Master might be able to pull off a 3-way)
Example #3
When Ginnifer Goodwin's character describes to Justin Long's character that her craziness is only a sign that she closer than him to actually finding the special someone...
Women's Response: "You go girl!"
Men's Response: "This girl needs to go!"
Example #4
When Ben Afflect's character, after and hour and 45 minutes of putting up an amazing argeument against marriage, and in the last few minutes eventually caves...
Women's Response: "He's so sweet!"
Men's Response: "He's a fucking idiot!"
Example #5
Not in the movie, but still a great commercial that shows how different men and women are.
The only real problem I had a with this movie was when Ginnifer Goodwin's character was describing to her female co-workers all the "signs" she noticed that lead her to the conclusion that Justin Long's character was "in to her." (Even tho 2 scenes eariler he just got done telling her there are no signs, and if a guy REALLY liked her, he'd make it happen).
I don't agree that there aren't signs. For all you women out there, here is a quick crash coarse to help you see these "signs" more clearly.
Sign #1
If a guy is buying you drinks, and trying to get you really drunk...he's in to you.
Sign #2
If a guy is stairing more at your breast than your face...he's in to you.
Sign #3
If a guy is consistantly making suggestions that he wants you to come back to his place...he's in to you.
That's it! Now granted, if you get all these signs from a guy, it does not mean he wants to marry you. The only reason a guy actually WANTS to get married, is if he realizes that that woman he is with is the hottest he's ever going to get. Other than that, I agree with Ben Afflect's character (before he was castrated) that marriage isn't for everybody, it's only for women.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Water Bongs, Butt Sex, & Speedos
By now I'm sure everyone has scene the photo of Olympic Gold Medalist, Michael Phelps, enjoying a nice hit off a bong in South Carolina. The fact that this is causing such a stir is ridiculous. Lets be honest, he was not trying to get high, it's a simple training exercise for swimmers. Smoking large amounts of Marijuana can causes many symptoms including...
1. Frequent Trips to Taco Bell
2. Short Term Memory Loss
3. Reddening of the Eyes
4. Muscle Relaxation
5. Impairs Sperm Production (Awesome)
and most importantly...
6. COTTON MOUTH
Swimmers ARE encouraged to smoke for Christ sake, what else would make you want to stay in the water for 10 hours a day? Determination?! A competitive drive?! Fuck No!
The only solution is illegal drugs!
And now rumors are flying around that Phelps might lose sponsors, or possibly some of his Medals due to this photo?!
The media and the Government are so obsessed with our athletes using Performance Enhancing Drugs, they are now considering Weed a performance enhancing drug?! Who is smoking what now?!
Marijuana is NOT a Performance Enhancing Drug. It certainly doesn't enhance your performance in the bed room. You may think that getting high was a good idea, and last night was the best sexual experience you have ever had, but little do you realize you've only pumped twice in the past 5 minutes, and Doritos crumbs are slowly coming down your face.
*And just a short FYI, I spelled "coming" wrong and my Mozilla Firefox offered "cumming" as a solution.
Do these right-winged conservatives honestly believe Phelps was stoned when he won those 8 gold medals?! The only way Marijuana could be used as a Performance Enhancing Drug is if his coach had a Chicken Quesadilla and a big stack of brownies on each end of the pool. And if he did, that coach is a genius, and deserves his own medal.
They are also saying the State of South Carolina is trying to build a case against Phelps?! Even Obama has admitted to trying this new Performance Enhancing Drug...
Is someone going to try and build a trial against our new favorite President?! Fuck No!
The war on drugs is almost as useless as the war on terror. They are both highly publicized and both extremely disguised (and you must be high if you honestly believe they are serving the purpose your TV tells you they are).
Look, Phelps is just a young kid looking to have a good time. With the economy the way it is, everyone needs something to give them a good time.
I've got my own bail out plan to get us out of the economic hell hole, and fast (I want HBO and Shotime). The plan is 2 fold.
1. Legalize not only Marijuana, but all illegal drugs (and tax the shit out of it).
It will not only bring a HUGE surge to the economy, but also lower organize crime at the same time. And, as and added bonus, all the hardcore scary drug addicts will overdose with in the first week, making our nation less crowded, safer, and smarter. It's just like the Black Plague, instead it's a week long Black Party.
And 2...
2. Legalize Gay Marriages
Lets do the math.
1Q. What is the average cost of a wedding?
1A. $30,000
2Q. Whose idea is it to spend that kind of money on one day that doesn't involve gambling and strippers?
2A. WOMEN
3Q. What happens if 2 women/gay guys get married?
a. Whats $30,000 + $30,000 = ???
3A. A better economy than when Clinton was in office!
It is a known fact that as soon as Gay Marriage is legalized, that 13% of our population would skip out and get married as soon as possible (before Rush Limbaugh's anti-homo robots to stop them).
Obama promised change, and I'm sure as shit no one saw the change he promised in the form of Blunts and Butt Sex. But the more you think about it, it just kinda makes sense.
1. Frequent Trips to Taco Bell
2. Short Term Memory Loss
3. Reddening of the Eyes
4. Muscle Relaxation
5. Impairs Sperm Production (Awesome)
and most importantly...
6. COTTON MOUTH
Swimmers ARE encouraged to smoke for Christ sake, what else would make you want to stay in the water for 10 hours a day? Determination?! A competitive drive?! Fuck No!
The only solution is illegal drugs!
And now rumors are flying around that Phelps might lose sponsors, or possibly some of his Medals due to this photo?!
The media and the Government are so obsessed with our athletes using Performance Enhancing Drugs, they are now considering Weed a performance enhancing drug?! Who is smoking what now?!
Marijuana is NOT a Performance Enhancing Drug. It certainly doesn't enhance your performance in the bed room. You may think that getting high was a good idea, and last night was the best sexual experience you have ever had, but little do you realize you've only pumped twice in the past 5 minutes, and Doritos crumbs are slowly coming down your face.
*And just a short FYI, I spelled "coming" wrong and my Mozilla Firefox offered "cumming" as a solution.
Do these right-winged conservatives honestly believe Phelps was stoned when he won those 8 gold medals?! The only way Marijuana could be used as a Performance Enhancing Drug is if his coach had a Chicken Quesadilla and a big stack of brownies on each end of the pool. And if he did, that coach is a genius, and deserves his own medal.
They are also saying the State of South Carolina is trying to build a case against Phelps?! Even Obama has admitted to trying this new Performance Enhancing Drug...
Is someone going to try and build a trial against our new favorite President?! Fuck No!
The war on drugs is almost as useless as the war on terror. They are both highly publicized and both extremely disguised (and you must be high if you honestly believe they are serving the purpose your TV tells you they are).
Look, Phelps is just a young kid looking to have a good time. With the economy the way it is, everyone needs something to give them a good time.
I've got my own bail out plan to get us out of the economic hell hole, and fast (I want HBO and Shotime). The plan is 2 fold.
1. Legalize not only Marijuana, but all illegal drugs (and tax the shit out of it).
It will not only bring a HUGE surge to the economy, but also lower organize crime at the same time. And, as and added bonus, all the hardcore scary drug addicts will overdose with in the first week, making our nation less crowded, safer, and smarter. It's just like the Black Plague, instead it's a week long Black Party.
And 2...
2. Legalize Gay Marriages
Lets do the math.
1Q. What is the average cost of a wedding?
1A. $30,000
2Q. Whose idea is it to spend that kind of money on one day that doesn't involve gambling and strippers?
2A. WOMEN
3Q. What happens if 2 women/gay guys get married?
a. Whats $30,000 + $30,000 = ???
3A. A better economy than when Clinton was in office!
It is a known fact that as soon as Gay Marriage is legalized, that 13% of our population would skip out and get married as soon as possible (before Rush Limbaugh's anti-homo robots to stop them).
Obama promised change, and I'm sure as shit no one saw the change he promised in the form of Blunts and Butt Sex. But the more you think about it, it just kinda makes sense.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Marley, My Foot, & Me
I am Psychology Major. Not because I want to help people, but because it is the only profession that teaches you how to manipulate people, and prescribe drugs at the same time. I don't want to work with kids tho, hell no. That's to easy. Every child's psychological problems are caused by 2 things...
1. They are Ugly
or...
2. Shitty Parents
And we all know, if your ugly, your most likely also poor which mean no cure there, and with out shitty parents, or more specifically, shitty fathers, then eventually, many of the things that make this country so great would go extinct.
i.e. - Strippers, Prostitutes, Girls Gone Wild DVD's, Sororities...ect.
I will not be remembered as the guy that help kill those wonderful things. Instead, I have chosen to focus on either working with the Criminally Insane, or Relationship Therapy . Lets be honest, there is a very thin line between the 2.
I'm leading more towards the ladder more and more though. With the election of a Black President, and the Legalization of Marijuana soon to follow, organized crime and criminals will be far and few between. But with the economy in the state that it is in, people turn to sappy romantic comedies to make them selves feel better. And with a surplus in romantic comedies, a surplus in Bad Relationships and Online Dating Services are sure to follow. It's just simple economics really.
So with that kind of demand, and my innovative techniques, it would be stupid not to help those who hate their significant other, and been with each other so long they would rather pay thousands of dollars for therapy rather than break up. And I am more than happy to take their money and help them continue ruining each others lives.
Oh and what innovative techniques you say? Sure prescribing some Zoloft is easy, and fun. Any idiot can help you numb the pain, and ignore those voices you hear that you used to call friends that you constantly hear saying, "She's a bitch, Your an idiot, She's cheating on you, She made a move on me when you went to the bathroom."
No, no drugs. If you really want to cure a Bad Relationship, the cure is simple. A simple prescription that will not send you to the Drug Store, but rather to the Pet's Store. You simply walk in there and ask for their tiniest dog available, and your relationship is as good as saved.
Yes it is that easy. The science behind it is simple. Being in a Bad Relationship causes many symptoms, including...
Anger
Depression
Loss of Friends/Family
Loss of Money
Loss of Time
Diarrhea
Possible Pregnancy
Marriage
Jail Time (Even tho this one is almost the same as the one above)
All the pain and anger you feel towards your significant other that you cant unleash on them because some idiots in Washington got rid of the "Rule of Thumb" (Wikipedia that shit...trust me, it's worth it). So instead of bottling that anger up in side, or unleashing it on each other, and becoming someones bitch in prison, you take that aggression out on that tini-tiny little puppy.
Every Bad Relationship needs a dog, and lets be honest, with you out of the house now, your parents are just begging for something to take care of...
1. They are Ugly
or...
2. Shitty Parents
And we all know, if your ugly, your most likely also poor which mean no cure there, and with out shitty parents, or more specifically, shitty fathers, then eventually, many of the things that make this country so great would go extinct.
i.e. - Strippers, Prostitutes, Girls Gone Wild DVD's, Sororities...ect.
I will not be remembered as the guy that help kill those wonderful things. Instead, I have chosen to focus on either working with the Criminally Insane, or Relationship Therapy . Lets be honest, there is a very thin line between the 2.
I'm leading more towards the ladder more and more though. With the election of a Black President, and the Legalization of Marijuana soon to follow, organized crime and criminals will be far and few between. But with the economy in the state that it is in, people turn to sappy romantic comedies to make them selves feel better. And with a surplus in romantic comedies, a surplus in Bad Relationships and Online Dating Services are sure to follow. It's just simple economics really.
So with that kind of demand, and my innovative techniques, it would be stupid not to help those who hate their significant other, and been with each other so long they would rather pay thousands of dollars for therapy rather than break up. And I am more than happy to take their money and help them continue ruining each others lives.
Oh and what innovative techniques you say? Sure prescribing some Zoloft is easy, and fun. Any idiot can help you numb the pain, and ignore those voices you hear that you used to call friends that you constantly hear saying, "She's a bitch, Your an idiot, She's cheating on you, She made a move on me when you went to the bathroom."
No, no drugs. If you really want to cure a Bad Relationship, the cure is simple. A simple prescription that will not send you to the Drug Store, but rather to the Pet's Store. You simply walk in there and ask for their tiniest dog available, and your relationship is as good as saved.
Yes it is that easy. The science behind it is simple. Being in a Bad Relationship causes many symptoms, including...
Anger
Depression
Loss of Friends/Family
Loss of Money
Loss of Time
Diarrhea
Possible Pregnancy
Marriage
Jail Time (Even tho this one is almost the same as the one above)
All the pain and anger you feel towards your significant other that you cant unleash on them because some idiots in Washington got rid of the "Rule of Thumb" (Wikipedia that shit...trust me, it's worth it). So instead of bottling that anger up in side, or unleashing it on each other, and becoming someones bitch in prison, you take that aggression out on that tini-tiny little puppy.
Every Bad Relationship needs a dog, and lets be honest, with you out of the house now, your parents are just begging for something to take care of...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
TP, Dodo Paper, & Shit Tickets
I live in a house with 6 other roommates, and 3 and 1/2 bathrooms. Lets break that down, that's 7 dudes, and 4 toilets. Toilet paper in our house has a higher monetary value than the dollar bill right now, true story. There was one point where there was one roll left in the entire house. So if you had to shit you had to run through the entire house like its the fucking Legends of the Hidden Temple, searching for "The Walking Stick of Harriet Tubman." That's a real one too, Wikipedia that shit.
So your running through the house with a Silver Snake about to come out, and you have to worry if one of the other roommates has to crap too. If another one does it's like running into a fucking Temple Guard, and you gotta barter with them so you can continue this magnificent quest of deification. You give him 2 Nattie Lights like there fucking Pendants of life. And you know your body is on a time limit too, I have never shit myself but I'm not going to lie, there have been some close calls. I've got the voices of Kirk Fogg and Olmec in my head taunting me that I'm not going to make it.
One time, I made it through every room, only to find an empty brown roll laying next to the toilet. I thought about it, but I didn't use it. I have more class than that. Instead, after I finished, I turned on the Shower and went Spread Eagle, or pulled apart my Purple Parrots so it fits my previous 90's Nickelodeon metaphor. If that story doesn't ruin your childhood memories, I don't know what will.
So your running through the house with a Silver Snake about to come out, and you have to worry if one of the other roommates has to crap too. If another one does it's like running into a fucking Temple Guard, and you gotta barter with them so you can continue this magnificent quest of deification. You give him 2 Nattie Lights like there fucking Pendants of life. And you know your body is on a time limit too, I have never shit myself but I'm not going to lie, there have been some close calls. I've got the voices of Kirk Fogg and Olmec in my head taunting me that I'm not going to make it.
One time, I made it through every room, only to find an empty brown roll laying next to the toilet. I thought about it, but I didn't use it. I have more class than that. Instead, after I finished, I turned on the Shower and went Spread Eagle, or pulled apart my Purple Parrots so it fits my previous 90's Nickelodeon metaphor. If that story doesn't ruin your childhood memories, I don't know what will.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Superfans: OSU edition
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=519920598092
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